My self-study of Chinese has recently undergone a renaissance. There are two reasons: 1) I am busy reading about the history of the People's Republic of China for my internship research, and 2) Tumblr hosts some blogs that are quite useful and interesting to read and learn from.

At any rate, I started to write my own translations of Mandopop (Chinese pop music, literally a portmanteau of "Mandarin" + "pop") songs and poems I'm quite fond of. It's been a side project I've been doing when I'm not utterly encompassed with my research for my internship or seminar.

I'm not the kind of person to get a tattoo, but if I were, I'd choose a stanza from this poem. It upends the lees of my heart and spills it across the remnants of who I used to be and stains the image of who I want to be. Sometimes, a poem can better describe us than the meagerness of our own words.

The poem is about a melancholy departure from Cambridge. The poet, Xu Zhimo (徐志摩), is a renowed 1920s Chinese poet, known for his romantic poetry and translations of English-language poetry for the Chinese literati. Xu was a student at the University of Cambridge after deciding that the United States wasn't quite right for him, and fell in love with the old English town. It is reflected in his description of the place as 西天 (xī tiān), the term Buddhists use to describe Nirvana, or, western paradise. I tried to translate it as best as I could, but there is nothing to describe the beauty and wonder of 在星輝斑斕裡放歌 (zài xīnghuī bānlán lǐ fànggē) in English.

「在別康橋」
"Saying Farewell to Cambridge"

輕輕的我走了，正如我輕輕的來；
我輕輕的招手，作別西天的雲彩。
I quietly leave, just as quietly as I arrived;
I quietly wave my hand, saying farewell to the clouds of Western paradise.

那河畔的金柳，是夕陽中的新娘；
波光裡的豔影，在我的心頭盪漾。
The golden willows by the riverside there, are brides in the midst of the setting sun;
The splendid image of the light gleaming off the waves, ripple and undulate in my thoughts.

軟泥上的青荇，油油的在水底招搖；
在康河的柔波裡，我甘心做一條水草！
The waterlilies growing amidst the silt, boldly sway in the water's depth;
In the rippling waves of River Cam, I'd willingly become a water plant!

那榆蔭下的一潭，不是清泉，是天上虹；
揉碎在浮藻間，沉澱著彩虹似的夢。
That pool underneath the elm tree's shade, is not filled with water but rather the rainbow in the sky above;
Crumbling amidst the duckweeds, are the sediments from that dreamlike rainbow.

尋夢撐一支長篙，向青草更青處漫溯；
滿載一船星輝，在星輝斑斕裡放歌。
Take the punting boat pole and seek your dream, drift upstream where the grass grows greener;
Fill your boat to the brim with starlight, release your song into that starlit world.

但我不能放歌，悄悄是別離的笙簫；
夏蟲也為我沉默，沉默是今晚的康橋！
But I cannot sing my song, my melody farewell is set to the tone of quietude;
The summer insects keep silent as well, silence is thy name, this evening in Cambridge!

悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的來；
我揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩。
I silently depart, just as silently as I arrived;
My sleeves sway as I wave farewell, taking not even a cloud wisp with me as I go.

When I am tired, I simply imagine drifting along the River Cam, surrounded by history and the heavens dancing above, filling my heart to the brim with starlight. And then, I find myself luminous with peace.